the importance of protecting our peace
(Excerpted and adapted from my upcoming book, “A Regular Person’s Guide to Living with Chronic Pain”)
When Peace Becomes a Necessity
Peace can seem like a rare enough commodity these days. When chronic pain enters the scene, peace is no longer a utopian luxury to dream of, but something we must decide to create for ourselves. This is our wake-up call, and we can each decide what that will mean for us.
Peace = Calm = Safe
Why does this matter? Think of “peace” as “calm,” and “calm” as “safe.” Our nervous systems are likely to be in a state of fight or flight, and we are seeking out ways to re-train our brains to accept that we are indeed safe — which can directly influence the signals they send to our bodies. Peace is not indulgence; it’s nervous system regulation and self-preservation, as vital to us as air and water. One of the simplest ways to understand this is to begin noticing what peace feels like inside your body.
Listening to the Body’s Subtle Signals
Keep in mind that our nervous system can’t tell the difference between real and perceived stress. If you find yourself watching TV shows and movies that depict tense or upsetting scenes, your brain may register that stress as if it were actually happening. Take note of your body’s signals as you choose what you take in. Is your torso constricted? Your heart rate up? Your pulse racing? Your jaw clenched? If so, your body is likely responding to perceived stress, and your nervous system is reacting accordingly. Now compare your body’s sensations to a different kind of stimulus, one that is calming and soothing, uplifting and benevolent. What happens to your breath then?
Many of us don’t realize how subtly our bodies respond to input like this, which we might otherwise take for granted as just “entertainment.” Yet the body is incredibly perceptive and sends an array of signals to the nervous system with every sensory experience.
Guarding Our Inner Calm
When your pain level is at six, you may have more mental room for engagement and sensory input, but when it’s an eight or above, it’s not your job to fix the world. Your job is to breathe and focus your energy on what your body and mind need to get through that moment.
Guarding your inner sense of calm when at a six will very likely shore up the nervous system’s reserves for carrying you through the eights and beyond. As we learn to calm our nervous systems and build on that practice, we may find ourselves better able to navigate pain with greater resilience and strength.
Designing a Peace Plan
The task before us now is to find ways to create and enhance a state of inner calm. Through a few deliberate choices, we can design an environment that supports our sensory regulation and emotional balance.
Guarding your peace is a balance of seeking out specific experiences and minimizing others. That might include any or all of the following:
Avoiding contentious people and situations
Avoiding divisive conversations and gossip
Limiting news and social media, and choosing them wisely
Prioritizing your sleep (schedule, routine, environment)
Exchanging harsh, bright light for soft, warm, ambient light
Surrounding yourself with calm people, sounds, and spaces
Being with those committed to growth, peace, and mutual respect
Seeking out inspiring experiences
Finding creative outlets
Focusing on the things you can control
Speaking your truth, peacefully and authentically
Welcoming mindfulness, awareness, and gratitude
Returning to your breath
The list above is just a starting point. You can choose one or two to start with, then build upon them from there. You may also find ways to expand on this list and customize a “peace plan” that works well for you and reflects your own individuality and values. However you choose to commit to your peace, remember the formula:
Peace ==> Calm ==> Safe.
You may even want to say those words aloud as part of your commitment to guarding your inner balance.
Setting Boundaries That Protect Peace
For many of us, maintaining our peace involves a shift in how we may have approached things in the past, including the roles we’ve played in our relationships. If we’ve been accustomed to taking on more than our share of energy-draining tasks, we may need to reassess the cost-benefit ratio of overextending ourselves in such ways.
It might mean we also develop new boundaries that allow us to show up for ourselves now, in ways that prioritize sustaining our energy for what matters most: our health and our ability to live with dignity and purpose alongside chronic pain. It’s our own comfort, peace, and well-being that must now come first. It’s not selfish. It’s a wise and necessary reordering of priorities, an intention to safeguard our resources for navigating a life that both demands and deserves a commitment to a peaceful life.
In a nutshell, we don’t have to politely or passively tolerate things we might have in the past. We’ve got enough going on within our body and mind. Our bodies require our focus to be placed where it belongs, perhaps for the very first time.
practicing intentional input
I place a lot of value on being very intentional about what I take in, what I consume, in every sense of the word. I surround myself with sounds, music, films, and other things that are soothing to my senses and soul. I deliberately seek out things that pique my curiosity about the world, inspire awe and wonder, and expand my perspective. I avoid things, people, and even foods that irritate and unsettle me.
Staying aligned with that higher energetic vibe does wonders for my nervous system. I’m discovering that these practices align well with my core beliefs and are yielding numerous benefits in many ways, and I’ve committed to them as a way of life. This intentionality is something I personally feel is relevant for anyone, whether they’re living with chronic pain or not. But for those of us who are, it’s absolutely essential.
A Season of Cocooning
It’s not unusual to need a period of time dedicated to ourselves as we redesign a life centered on peace. We may crave a season of quiet retreat, a kind of cocooning, while we reassess and adjust — a time that reshapes us into the new form we’ll embody from now on.
It doesn’t mean that we shut ourselves off completely or decline every opportunity to engage in life. It means that we’re tuning in to ourselves on a new level and anchoring ourselves in peaceful ground as we find our way forward.
Simple Ways to Cultivate Peace
Let’s imagine some large and smaller ways we can practice this. It doesn’t have to involve a total overhaul of your home or cost even a cent. Oftentimes, it’s not about what we add to our lives when cultivating peace, but rather what we do with what’s already there.
We might find that there are multiple, simple ways to curate our environment, creating a space that exudes peacefulness and offers the soothing effects our bodies and minds crave. Small changes can set the right tone visually or contribute to a peaceful ambiance. Ultimately, it’s not about “achieving peace,” but finding it. Think of peace as something that’s already there and waiting to be discovered, once we peel away the distractions and amplifications in stimuli that obscure it. And remember: the goal isn’t perfection. It’s awareness.
Try replacing your bright lights with dimmable ones. Invite those around you to speak in gentler tones. Adjust any background sounds to a comfortable volume level. Go to bed a little earlier, and bring a nice cup of tea with you. Place something beautiful on a table or nightstand so that you can see it often throughout the day.
In even small ways such as these, we can actively participate in bringing ourselves peace and a sense of joyful focus. Small shifts in lighting, sound, and daily routine can nurture a more profound sense of harmony and calm. These are not luxuries in the traditional sense. They’re small but meaningful acts of protection and self-preservation for the body and mind.
Prioritizing Peace Every Day
Spending time in nature, creating spaces that nourish and sustain us, and surrounding ourselves with people who uplift and encourage us — each one of these is deeply valuable. Even something as simple as a YouTube video of nature sounds can calm the most ancient parts of our physiology.
Now is the time to prioritize our peace. This is how we begin to reclaim our power. It’s not a luxury or indulgence, but a necessity we both need and deserve, and one we can no longer afford to live without.
With you on the journey,
Julie 💜
Questions for Reflection
(Use these as journaling prompts or quiet conversation starters with yourself.)
What situations or interactions most often disturb your sense of peace? Enhance it?
What helps you recognize when your nervous system feels “safe” vs. “unsafe?”
What is one small change you could make this week to protect your peace?
How can you remind yourself that “Peace = Calm = Safe” throughout your day?
How might cultivating calm in your body change the way you relate to your pain?
If peace were a physical space, what would it look and feel like?
If you could design a “peace plan” for your nervous system, what would it include?
*chronic pain protecting our peace nervous system regulation cultivating calm boundaries self-care mindfulness safety reclaiming our power