what does “Listen to your body” actually mean?
What Does “Listen to Your Body” Actually Mean?
“Listen to your body.”
It sounds simple enough. It’s the kind of advice many of us have heard countless times, especially when we’re dealing with pain, illness, stress, or exhaustion.
But what does it actually mean?
It would be easier if our bodies communicated the way we do, in complete sentences, perhaps with some helpful punctuation thrown in for clarity. Instead, they tend to communicate through sensations, changes in energy, physical reactions, and other cues that aren’t always so easy to interpret.
We’ve probably all had the experience of coming down with a cold and realizing only then that we’d been dragging for the past couple of days. Maybe we’d felt unusually tired and foggy, or simply not quite ourselves. Looking back, the signals were there. But in the midst of our busy lives and distracted minds, we just didn’t recognize what they meant at the time.
I’ve become much better at noticing those early signals in myself, though I still miss them plenty of times.
Becoming more aware of those signals is part of what it means to listen to our bodies. We can begin to notice our own patterns: what it feels like when we’re becoming depleted, when we need to eat, when we’ve been sitting too long, when we’re becoming overstimulated, or when something simply doesn’t feel right.
This is often referred to as somatic awareness: becoming more conscious of the sensations and signals coming from within our bodies. While that capacity is already part of us, learning to notice and interpret those signals can take time.
The “Yes/No” Signals
In my own work, I’ve written about learning to recognize the body’s “yes” and “no” signals. They’re often subtle, but also quite distinct. We might notice a tightening in the chest in some situations and a sense of ease and contentment in others. We may feel energized by something or noticeably drained afterward. We might find ourselves wanting to lean in, pull away, stay, leave, continue, or stop.
Over time, those responses can become a kind of internal barometer. We begin to recognize what our own bodies tend to do when we’re approaching a limit, when something feels right, or when we may need to pay closer attention to ourselves or our environment.
But even when we become pretty good at recognizing those signals, they aren’t always clear from the start. To complicate things further, they can sometimes contradict one another.
We may be exhausted but restless at the same time. In pain but desperate to move. Longing for connection without having the energy for it. We may desperately want to do something while another part of us says we’ve had enough.
And sometimes we recognize the signal perfectly well but still have no idea what to do with it.
That's why I’ve come to think of listening and responding as two separate parts of the equation. First, we notice what our bodies are telling us. Then we decide what, if anything, to do with that information.
Listening is information-gathering. Responding is conscious decision-making.
That distinction matters because listening to our bodies doesn’t necessarily mean doing whatever they seem to be asking of us.
A “no” signal might tell us that something is costing us energy. We may decide that cost isn’t worth it. At another time, we may decide that it is.
We can listen to our bodies and still go to the concert. Have the difficult conversation. Finish something that feels important to us. Take the trip. We can also listen and decide not to go, to postpone the conversation, or to leave something unfinished for the time being.
Neither choice necessarily means we listened “better.” We might just be making the choice with more information to go on.
And even then, knowing what to do with it can be tricky.
For example, a racing heart might accompany fear, excitement, exertion, anticipation, or any number of other experiences. Fatigue may be telling us we need rest, but that doesn’t necessarily mean lying down every time we feel tired. Sometimes we might need food, movement, fresh air, a change of scenery, or simply a break from whatever has been demanding our attention.
Pain can be especially complicated. It certainly gets our attention, but its presence alone doesn’t always give us an obvious clue about what to do next. Do we need to stop? Change positions? Move a little? Rest? Slow down a bit? Sometimes we just don’t know.
It can become even harder when we’ve spent years overriding these kinds of signals. Many of us have learned to keep going, take care of everyone else, or honor a commitment no matter what our bodies are telling us. We get hungry and grab a snack when we really need a good meal. We notice tension building in our shoulders but don’t stop long enough to do anything about it. We feel ourselves becoming exhausted or overwhelmed and tell ourselves we just need to push through.
I know I spent years doing exactly that, especially when there was a mountain of work waiting to be finished.
After a while, overriding those signals can become so automatic that we barely notice we’re doing it. So learning to listen may involve getting better acquainted with cues that have been there all along.
What Does “Safe” Feel Like?
Another complication that comes up frequently in conversations about the body and nervous system regulation is the idea of reminding ourselves that we’re safe.
That can be helpful. But what if “safe” isn’t something our bodies easily recognize?
We can know intellectually that nothing threatening is happening in a particular moment and still find that our bodies haven’t gotten the message. We may remain tense or vigilant about something we can’t quite name. And if we’ve spent a long time in that state, telling ourselves to relax or reminding ourselves that we’re safe may not be enough to make it happen.
I’ve been learning this myself. Sometimes “I’m safe” feels like too much of a leap for my mind and body to believe, so I start with something more concrete: “I’m on solid ground.”
Perhaps getting to know our bodies better also means becoming curious about what safety actually feels like for us, rather than assuming we should already know. Maybe we notice a little less tension or realize we aren’t bracing against something quite as much.
Noticing those small changes gives us information, too.
So What Do We Do From Here?
None of this means we need to spend our days analyzing every sensation that passes through our bodies. In fact, there’s a fine line between becoming more aware of our bodies and constantly monitoring them.
For those of us living with chronic pain, that distinction can be especially important. When the body is already demanding our attention throughout the day, “listen to your body” can sound almost laughable. Believe me, I’m listening. It won’t shut up.
Paying attention doesn’t have to mean deciphering every message our bodies give us. Sometimes it may simply involve becoming familiar enough with our own patterns that we’re a little more likely to notice when something changes.
Maybe that’s why “listen to your body” isn’t quite as simple as it sounds. Listening is something we learn, and our bodies don’t always communicate in the same way. Their signals can vary with our circumstances, health, stress levels, activity, and countless other things happening in our lives.
We aren’t always going to interpret those signals correctly. And even when we do, we won’t always be able to give our bodies exactly what they seem to be asking for.
But maybe listening isn’t about getting every response right. We might think of the phrase “listen to your body” as an invitation rather than another task to undertake: to notice what’s there, become more familiar with our own cues, and allow that information to have a place in the decisions we make.
And for the moment, that might be enough. Although a nice cup of tea probably wouldn’t hurt.
This appropriately themed mug is available exclusively in my online shop. Click here to get yours today!
I’ve recorded a bonus audio reset guide to accompany this piece, specifically for my paid Substack subscribers: What Do I Need Right Now? It’s a few gentle minutes to check in with your body, mind, and emotions, notice what might be asking for your attention, and consider what might help — without needing to figure everything out or respond perfectly. You can find this guide under the Perks section of my Substack page.
With you on the journey,
Julie 🦋